From Death Comes Life

We’ve all heard the saying, “God works in mysterious ways...” Some believe it, while others don’t. As for me, I can testify to the mighty power and forgiveness that can come only from Christ. Let me explain.

I am what many would call a cradle Catholic. Both of my parents were Catholic. I was baptized as a baby and raised in the Church. As I got older, I became an altar server and attended CCD like any good Catholic boy. However, I was doing it because that was what my parents wanted, not out of my own faith.

Then it came time for my Confirmation. Like many other Catholics before me, I viewed this as a sort of graduation, rather than the beginning of a new journey in Christ. I was confirmed at St. Paul the Apostle Church in Flour Bluff. For me, this was the end of my Church life.
When I decided to quit attending Church, not having a personal relationship with Christ, I rapidly spiraled downhill. I started using drugs, not just using them, but abusing them so much that I became a full-blown addict. School and drugs mixed like oil and water, so I decided to quit school to pursue more drugs.

The result of this wrong choice eventually led to my arrest and the beginning of my prison life. I was in and out of the county jail and prison system numerous times. After serving a ten-year sentence, in 2012, I was released from prison with the notion that I had it all figured out, that I was going to do good. I started my own business and was doing rather well, or so I thought. I still did not have a personal relationship with Christ. In all reality, I did not have any relationship with Him at all. I found myself on the verge of using drugs again, heading right back down the same old rabbit hole while slowly dying inside.

In 2016, I was involved in a car accident that caused a gentleman to lose his life because I made the wrong choices. This incident pushed me over the edge, and I turned to what I knew best: drugs. I became seriously depressed as the weight of that day collapsed upon me. In August of 2017, I was sentenced to 35 years in prison. My actions had destroyed that man’s family, and my own as well. I couldn’t do enough drugs to numb the pain and sorrow. Even when I returned to prison, I continued using drugs to numb myself and could not heal that gaping wound inside of me. Suicidal thoughts came to me often. I felt as if I were a lost cause, dead to the world, my life having no hope or purpose.

I was dwelling in this pitiful existence when out of the blue a fellow inmate came up to me, someone I had never spoken to before, and he said to me, “I am supposed to ask you to come to Catholic Mass.”

I asked myself, “Who is this guy, and how does he know that I used to go to Mass?” Then later I found myself considering, “Why not give it a try? I’ve tried everything else, and I still feel empty, like I am a lost cause.”

I started going back to Church. I went to Mass again. Slowly, I began to open my life to Christ. When I went to Confession, I felt as if the inner death I had been experiencing began to lift from me. That feeling was reinforced when I took the Eucharist for the first time in almost 30 years!

I was transferred to the McConnell Unit in Beeville, TX, and joined the St. Dismas Community there. I even became a member of the ministry team. But the altar called to me like an old friend. Once again, I found myself serving as an altar server. I now had a genuine and personal relationship with Jesus. And yet, still... something in my life was missing. I started helping to teach an RCIA class to try to fill that void. But it didn’t work, and that missing piece eluded me.

I learned that the gentleman whose life I had taken had been involved in ministry. In 2022, we held a Synod on the McConnell Unit, which was attended by Bishop Michael Mulvey. I had the opportunity to speak with him and apologize for my actions that took the life of one of his parishioners. We talked at length, and I learned that he had known the gentleman and had even sat with him in his hospital room before his passing. Bishop Mulvey had also officiated at the man’s funeral. Yet, he forgave me and accepted my apology.

In that one encounter, I found what I had been missing: forgiveness. I knew that Christ had forgiven me, and suddenly, Bishop Mulvey accepted my apology and forgave me, too. This action paved the way for my biggest step yet: forgiving myself. A huge weight was lifted from me, and I felt truly alive for the first time in many years.

God works in mysterious ways. Regrettably, it took someone’s death to bring me new life that leads and pushes me to serve the Church I spent so much of my life running away from; a life that allows me to bring others to Christ so they, too, may be redeemed and find a life of their own. I will never forget that it was the power of forgiveness that brought me new hope and a new life.